


Let the Past Die

by HighFunctioningSarah



Series: Jinx Anthology [14]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Canon-Typical Violence, Flashbacks, Force-Sensitive Leia Organa, Friends to Lovers to Enemies, Hurt Poe Dameron, Jedi Ben Solo, Jedi Leia Organa, Jedi Luke Skywalker, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Leia Organa Needs a Hug, Luke Skywalker's Jedi Temple, Luke Skywalker's Padawans, Movie: Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Multi, Pilot Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron Hurts So Prettily, Poe Dameron Is A Mess, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Psychological Trauma, Resistance, Soft Ben Solo, Star Wars: The Force Awakens Spoilers, Young Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:14:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24107314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HighFunctioningSarah/pseuds/HighFunctioningSarah
Summary: Accompanying Poe Dameron and the Black Squadron on a secret mission to find Lor San Tekka and the map to Luke Skywalker, a painful ghost of your past resurfaces in the form of one Kylo Ren.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/Reader
Series: Jinx Anthology [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1713607
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Let the Past Die

**Author's Note:**

> What was originally one scene in my head spiralled into this. I would really appreciate hearing what you guys think, because I am seriously invested in turning this into an entire x reader that spans across all three films (likely only ten-ish parts long).

Leia had sensed it within you long before you had formally met.

She watched you work with haste, repairing the engines of support craft, starfighters and practically anything that was needed. One of her advisors had recommended that she speak with the Resistance's newfound talent, with word of your efficiency and skill preceding well before your rank. Reaching out to feel for a loose bolt, you used your wrench to tighten its positioning before grabbing a visor. Gripping your welding tools harshly, you began to mend the broken plates and fixtures before lifting the visor and wiping away the sweat on your forehead, grimy with dirt and fuel. It became obvious to Leia how determined you were not to meet her gaze, eyes fixed to the sparking metal. Setting the tool aside, you grabbed a cloth and wiped some of the inner workings of the fighter down before snapping the access panel shut and tapping the hull.

"She's good to go," you announced to the pilot, who hopped into the cockpit.

"Thanks (y/n)."

"Don't mention it."

Collecting your gear, you tightened your grip on the handle as the General walked towards you. Looking away guiltily, an ache began to tug at your heart and you released an uneasy breath. Her looming presence on the base was a constant reminder of your time at the Temple, and of the Skywalker family whom you had grown to simultaneously reminisce over and resent.

"General Organa," you said, nodding your head nervously and meeting her soft gaze.

"(Y/n) (y/l/n). Would you mind if we speak somewhere more private?"

"Of course."

Following the general between the reinforced structures that once served the Rebellion, you weaved around other ships and officials, with various pieces of machinery and supplies distributed throughout the underground base. To your left, a pair of Resistance members were being shown the inside of an x-wing by the infamous Poe Dameron, who gave you a friendly nod as you walked by. Smiling in return, you watched as he gave you an inquisitive look at the sight of the General, to which you mouthed 'later'.

The General stopped outside of a smaller building, away from the main traffic of the base, a stern look on her face.

"It's good to finally meet you in person, (y/n). However, if I had known a bit sooner that the same young woman that trained with my brother joined the Resistance, I would have come to see you."

Nodding, your throat began to tighten. A beat passed and you couldn't look her in the eyes anymore. All you could see were the hopeless browns of her son's stare reflected in her dark hues.

"Yeah," you forced out, staring at the dirt. Taking a few steps closer to you, Leia stopped within arms distance. The tugging of the Force she had sensed from her times passing by you, not realising your identity, pulled harder with each step.

"You've been here all this time?" Leia asked.

You nodded again, tears beginning to brim in your eyes. A deep, guilty ache began to form a cavity in your chest, expanding and making your breaths uneven. It threatened to consume all of you, as it had years ago, leaving a bitter and empty shell behind. Cursing, you wiped away at your eyes and placed your tools on the ground.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be acting like this, it's so inappropriate."

Deep concern began to show on Leia's features, and she took one of your hands in hers to cease your fretting. The sadness and guilt that plagued your mind seemed to flow out of every part of you, and the loneliness that followed your journey since you left the Temple settled on Leia's shoulders like a heavy blanket of snow.

"It's fine, (y/n)."

"But that's just it, it can't be fine. It... how can this be fine? Master Luke, he's completely isolated himself to who knows where. And _Ben_..."

"There is still hope for him - for the both of them." Leia reassured.

"I'm so sorry I left them. If I had just stayed, maybe I could've prevented Ben from being drawn to the Dark Side, I could have stopped all of it from happening."

Wrapping her arms around your torso, she brought you close and cradled your head. Teary, she closed her eyes and gave you a gentle squeeze, her nurturing presence calming. The pair of you shared a moment like that, mourning over the past and the future that was stripped away.

"It wasn't your path. None of us could have stopped what happened to my son."

Giving you another firm squeeze, Leia pulled away and gave you a soft smile. She was full of grace and kindness, and you began to understand the respect that the people had for her. It wasn't just that she was a Princess and a General, or that she had fought in the Galactic Civil War, but the wisdom and leadership that exuded from her was powerful enough to unite an army, and people recognised and respected her for it.

"Thank you, General." You said, though you could still feel guilt settled in your gut.

"Leia." She corrected. "Now, my brother picked you as one of his padawans for a reason. I know that you abandoned your training, and I know you don't agree with the teachings of the Jedi, but there is a strength within you. I am glad it has led you here. But I do need to ask for your help. I have given orders for Poe Dameron and the Black Squadron to track down Lor San Tekka, and I need you to accompany them."

Brows furrowing, you brushed the hair that had stuck to your sweaty forehead away.

"I'm not a pilot."

"No, but you're a skilled fighter and engineer. And your training with Luke, while incomplete, could help them."

The weight of what she was asking began to dawn on you. For the first time in years, you could be leaving the planet of D'Qar and putting your training to some use. You could be doing something meaningful beyond repairing engines and showing people the mechanics of ships. She was asking you to become what Master Luke said you could not, and what you feared was not possible.

"I'll do it."

"Good. Do you still have your lightsaber?"

۞ ۞ ۞

It was cold in Lor San Tekka's hut, with the desert landscape offering little warmth during the night. It was cluttered with poorly made furniture and fabrics, with candles were distributed across the room They added a soft golden glow to the makeshift living space, with the darkness outside interrupted only by the fires inside the village. Sitting on an embroidered cushion, you crossed your legs and drank from a small, ceramic cup. A sharp metallic taste slid down your throat, and you smiled at Tekka with gratitude before placing the cup on a nearby table.

There was a sense of relief that accompanied finally making contact with the old man. You had been going on missions with Black Squadron for months before you and Poe diverted from the group and landed on Jakku, and the search of Tekka had almost gotten the group killed - many times. However, you could not deny the underlying thrill of the journey, with the demands of your mission rekindling your connection with the Force after years of neglect. And while the squad as a whole were unaware of your abilities, Poe found out after a mind-trick to help the pair of you evade capture.

Poe sat beside you, hand outstretched. Placing a small, leather pouch in the pilot's palm, Tekka spoke in a hushed voice.

"This will begin to make things right. I have travelled too far and seen too much, to ignore the despair in the galaxy. Without the Jedi, there can be no balance in the force."

Poe accepted the small parcel, tucking it into his pocket.

"Well, because of you now we have a chance. The General's been after this for a long time."

"'The General'. To me, she's royalty. Well, she certainly is that."

A series of frantic beefs sounded from outside the hut as BB-8 zoomed through the entryway, parting the shredded fabric curtains.

"We've got company." Poe said urgently, jolting up from his seat and racing outside the hut. 

"Troopers?" You asked the droid, who whirred enthusiastically in reply.

Following close behind, hand hovering over the hilt of your saber, you stared out into the darkness beyond, struggling to see anything. A large search party emerged in the distance, bright spotlights searching, presumably for yourself and Poe. An urgency began to set your senses alight, and you were acutely aware of the space around you and the conflict that was about to unfold.

Giant ships began to land just outside the village, blue blaster bolts clashing into its surface and sparking against the metal. The hull opened, with a stream of bright, artificial light pouring into the village. Tens of stormtroopers began rushing out, firing towards the armed villagers and barking orders at one another. Buildings and other structures within the small camp began to crumble against the blaster fire, with small spot fires lighting in the wake of the high heat. The organised ranks of the troopers quickly began to overwhelm the untrained village folk, and Poe lowered his binoculars with dread.

"You have to hide." He warned Tekka.

"You have to leave." Tekka replied hastily.

Turning to Tekka, you gripped his hand firmly with gratitude.

"Thank you," you said, letting him go and walking backwards towards one of the sand dunes. "The Resistance owes you a lot of gratitude."

Poe joined you, steamrolling over the hill towards your ship.

"The Resistance owes me nothing!" Tekka shouted as you got further away. "Just find Skywalker!"

Turning around, you raced to catch up to Poe, who was several strides ahead of you, BB-8 trailing behind him. Sand flew up from the droid's spinning, and the growing fires from the village flickered light across the dunes, licking at your heels like the ever-present search party chasing after you. Turning abruptly towards the ship, Poe slipped over the uneven ground, sand flying everywhere. Lungs burning from the cold air, you ripped him upwards as you caught, pulling him towards you.

"Come on, BB-8, hurry!"

The pair of you continued to run towards the ship, and Poe threw himself into the cockpit, sliding on his helmet. Readying the ship, he glanced at you worriedly as you hung off the side of the ship, checking your surroundings for the last time. Blaster fire shot out and decimated the thrusters of the ship, causing sparks to jump out across the ship. Ducking, you cursed and hit the side of the ship loudly with your fist, grabbing Poe's attention. Beeping loudly, BB-8 spotted two troopers walking up the dune as they continued to fire, gaze set on the ship.

"I see them!" Poe shouted.

Swiftly grabbing your phaser, you jumped off the ship and fired two shots into the torso of one of the troopers, who fell to the ground with a thud. Another shot fired from behind you, striking the other trooper in the chest and sending him backward. Whipping your head back around, you looked to see Poe clamber out of the cockpit and fling off his helmet. Looking back out into the gunfire, you saw the stormtroopers start to force the villagers into lines, sectioned off from their weapons and huddled together in fear.

"The ship's done. We need to run, Poe!"

Kneeling down, Poe unwrapped the parcel and took out the metal rectangle that contained the map. Rolling towards him, BB-8 opened a compartment inside of its body, dome-shaped head looking for approval. Placing the map inside of the compartment, Poe placed his hand on the body of the droid and looked at his sternly.

"You take this, it's safer with you than it is with me."

"Poe?" You asked, phaser aimed towards any potential troopers. "What are you doing?"

Turning to you, he shook his head. A look of pure determination and compassion filled his gaze, and you could tell what his next words were going to be before they came out of his mouth.

"You know we can't risk this getting to the First Order, and I am not leaving those villagers."

Nodding, you steadied your grip on your phaser and smiled.

"Well, I'm not leaving you to get your ass kicked."

Laughing dryly, Poe looked back to BB-8.

"You get as far away from here as you can. You hear me?" Poe stood, standing beside you as BB-8 began to spin away. Running towards a dune closer towards the villagers, he shouted "We'll come back for you! It'll be alright."

Checking for troopers, you sprinted towards the next sand dune, dropping down to take cover. Sliding, Poe lied down beside you, back towards the dune as he looked over his shoulder and released heavy, uneven breaths. Unholstering your lightsaber, you gripped the hilt tightly in your hand and swallowed nervously, unsure of yourself. Closing your eyes, you tried to focus on the space around you and connect with the Force.

The distinct crackle of blaster shots filled your ears, bright red bolts casting an unnatural hue on the landscape, the illuminating the horrified faces of the villagers. Sand crunched under the heavy armoured boots of stormtroopers, catching in the wind. Its icy fingers fuelled the untamed flames, sending surges of heat across the village, consuming the huts and structures around them. Rubble and dust spat everywhere, small explosions and bolts creating a mass of screeching metal and bodies. It was absolute chaos, and the unbridled pain and darkness and deafening noise... but there was an overwhelming light. It was Tekka, standing between the flames to face his destiny despite almost certain death. It was Poe, beside you, more than willing to fight in the struggle against the First Order with the Resistance. It was the hope of the villagers and a terrified trooper in the distance.

And another, dimmer source, drawing closer. It was familiar, like a candle almost burnt out, as if a slight breeze could cause it to flicker into nothingness.

A final ship landed in front of the village, the impact reverberating through the ground and causing your eyes to open. Turning to watch, a sense of dread began to build within you as the light drew closer.

"Poe..." You breathed out, the sensation growing stronger.

"What's wrong?" He asked, looking at your widened eyes with confusion. "(Y/n)?"

The hull opened with a hiss and released bursts of steam, each of the stormtroopers within the village perfectly positioned, awaiting their orders. Everything seemed to pass at a snail's pace, and you were frozen in place as the dark figure of Kylo Ren walked out of the ship.

You hadn't seen him in years, and it was like every memory you had in the Temple came flooding back to you, waves of emotion mingling with adrenaline.

_There was the two of you, pacing in a wide circle and facing each other, lightsabers in hand. Master Luke and the other padawans watched on, and a wide smirk grew on Ben's face as he tightened his grip. Digging your heels into the ground and eager to block his attack, you raised a brow, challenging him._

_Enraged, your lips were pressed into a firm line, fists curled up with fury and a pile of texts at your feet._

_A beaming smile was on your lips._

_"You don't misunderstand the way of the Jedi. You refuse to learn!"_

_You were laying down just inside of the window in your room, gazing out into the horizon as stars decorated the night sky, interrupted only by a series of quiet taps from the floor below. Smiling, you lowered your torso outside of the window, reaching out a hand until a pair the calloused palms met yours, and you pulled up with all of your strength. A mop of dark hair emerged from below, a small smile on his face as he stepped into your room._

_"Why must this be the only path?"_

_Stepping back, betrayal and anger dulled Ben's eyes, gaze flickering between your devastated form and the authoritative stance of his Master._

_The pair of you were sat in the infirmary, a nasty graze from a lightsaber having burnt the side of Ben's left arm, and you brought your hands to rest just above the wound, eyes closed. The burnt flesh began to even out in texture and colour, healing. A sense of calm washed over you, and when you opened your eyes nervousness grew as Ben looked to you with gratitude._

_Fingers drumming over old, delicate paper, your eyes frantically absorbed the symbols in front of you, confusion and disappointment settling under your skin._

_"You fought well today. Almost beat me - would have been a nice change."_

_"Please. You know I'm just taking it easy so I don't bruise that fragile ego of yours."_

_Glaring at Master Luke with disgust, the pair of you began to argue in hushed voices._

_Heat radiating from each of your blue blades, you grit your teeth as excitement and adrenaline pumped in your veins. Pushing him back by forcing all of your weight into the blow, you stepped forward, moving the saber in a wide arc._

_Moving your head from his shoulder, your turned your gaze to admire his features, an underlying smile of your lips. Slowly, you took Ben's face in your hands and pressed his lips to yours gently, while he brought his arms around you and held you in a tender embrace._

_You could not be what Luke wanted you to be._

_With a parcel of your belongings in hand, you tucked your lightsaber into your robes before Master Luke could realise you still had it. Turning away, you began to walk down the pathway and out to the front entryway, eyes stinging with tears._

_There was so much power within him, and bright, blinding Light, with the smallest seed of Darkness growing._

_Walking through the forest, you focused on your breathing and connection with the abundance of life around you as you made your way towards a tree. You could feel him there, waiting, and when you approached him, his soft eyes looked at you with such a strong warmth. Snaking a hand into his, you wrapped you other arm around his shoulder and hugged him closely._

_"Promise me you won't leave."_

_"I promise."_

Those words seemed to echo in your head, the fear and guilt holding your lungs like a vice, unable to rip your eyes away from the scene in front of you.

Two troopers met Kylo at the entrance to the village, Tekka in tow.

"That's Kylo Ren," Poe muttered, bewildered. "He'll kill Tekka. We have to stop him - you can use your Force powers to fend him off."

"No, Poe," you said, eyes transfixed on his masked form. "I can't fight him, you don't understand."

Placing a hand on your shoulder, he shook you, forcing you to look away from the scene that was unfolding. The furrow between his brows deepened, and a worried line formed on his forehead.

"I've seen you throw troopers across hallways and trick people into letting us go just by _suggesting_ it. And you've got _that_ ," he said, gesturing to your lightsaber. "We can't leave them defenceless."

Shaking your head, you bit your lip before finally looking towards Poe. As much as you trusted him, it was difficult to mention your time at the Temple, though Poe's assumptions that Leia was your Master left you with a comfortable lie to hide your past.

But there was no denying it now.

"I was running, Poe, when I joined the Resistance. I _failed_ my training as a Jedi."

Mouth slightly agape as if about to say something, Poe squinted and looked at you with bewilderment.

"What do you mean, failed? Leia assigned you to this mission with me. Why would she send her own student to help, if they failed?"

"I wasn't her student," you said urgently, needing him to understand. "I was Luke's."

Bemused, a brief moment passed before the pilot's brows relaxed, leaning away from you and turning towards the scene in the village, absorbing the information while keeping his gaze firmly planted on Ren. A wave of different emotions passed over his features, before settling on anger.

"You knew him?"

"I thought I did."

Jaw set in anger, he glared at Ren with venom, body itching for a fight. Frustrated with you for omitting the truth, he directed his anger at the conflict ahead. Taking out his blaster, he held it tightly in his grip and waited, watching on.

Opening your mouth to speak, you stopped when you felt something shift. Looking out into the village, you watched as Ren ignited his lightsaber, saying something indecipherable before raising it high above his head. Your whole body tensed.

Without hesitation, he used the blade to cut the old man in two.

Instantly, Poe shot up from behind the dune and ran. Hissing his name, you reached for his ankle to try and drag him back, but he was gone too quickly. Taking a few steps forward, he paused and fired a blaster shot directly at Ren's head, blue bolt streaming through the air.

Whipping around, Ren raised a gloved hand and stopped the bolt mid-air, forcing Poe's arm to seperate from the gun. Heart hammering in your chest, you watched powerlessly as two stormtroopers ran towards him, one punching him in the gut and causing him to double over. Taking an arm each, they tossed his blaster and dragged him towards the entrance to the village, walking past the still-frozen bolt. Fear filled Poe's eyes, and every nerve in your body burned with the urge to move. Readjusting your holt on the hilt of your lightsaber, you watched as the troopers forced him to his knees.

After an agonising few seconds, you saw the troopers pull him back onto his feet and pat him down. A beat passed before the soldiers led him towards the open hull of a nearby ship. Too far to hear anything, you were torn between staying in the sand and running after him. Despite your connection with the Force, your training had been cut short and you were completely outnumbered. Perhaps you could take out four or five troopers before they got to you. Teeth gritted, you knew that you were guaranteed to lose, but your instincts screamed to fight.

The stormtroopers raised each of their weapons, aiming towards the villagers.

Poe turned to look over his shoulder, yelling and begging them to stop.

Breathing deeply, you closed your eyes and ignited your saber.

Jumping up from the dune, you sprinted towards the group, using the Force to blow a gust of sand into the air. It blew in gusts to form a large semicircle, obscuring the villagers enough to give them a moment to try and escape. Yelling, you swung your lightsaber into the side of the nearest trooper, creating a glowing gash that caused him to fall to the ground. Spinning around, you twisted the blade in the air and swapped hands, stabbing another in the gut with a loud crackle. A third fired a blaster shot and hit you in the shoulder, causing a searing pain to jolt down your arm and fury to fill your veins. Clenching your jaw, you outstretched your hand and used the Force to raise him up into the air and throw him into the side of a building. More shots rang out, this time from both the villagers and the troopers, lighting up the village. You ran, using the momentum to slide on your knees and swing your lightsaber into a trooper's legs. Momentum dwindling, you moved to stand on one knee, bringing your saber upwards to stab through another stormtrooper's jaw and into his head.

Just as you were bringing your lightsaber to lunge forward, you entire body seized up, struggling to move. The sandstorm you had created was stopped, the grains of sand flittering down to the ground to reveal different villagers who had perished or were still running. A dark grip held you in place, and Kylo Ren began to stalk towards you. Heart thumping, you released a scream of frustration and took a rigid step forward, holding your saber in front of yourself protectively. The grip tightened, crushing your chest and ripping the blade out of your hands. Sweat beaded on your forehead from the effort of fighting it, dripping onto the sand. A look of pure dread marked your features, and you watched in fear as Ren reignited his lightsaber and stood in front of you, emotionless mask staring you down.

"(Y/n) (y/l/n)," the robotic voice said. Mask shifting, you watched in fear as he eyed you up and down, taking in your appearance. "Of course they would send you to help retrieve the map to Skywalker."

Body shaking, you struggled to escape his hold, eyes lingering on the now red lightsaber he brandished. It hummed with fury, and it was almost like the kyber crystal had been stained with blood, allowing such a rich, dangerous colour to emit from it. The light blue from his original saber was gone, and when your eyes flickered back up to the mask your stomach plunged. A beat passed, the air still, and you were afraid to even breathe. Without warning, Ren lifted the blade centimetres from your face, the extreme heat burning your skin. Holding it there, he titled his head.

"I could cut you down right here. Be done with it."

Licking your lips, you swallowed.

"Leave the villagers be, please."

Looking towards the albeit smaller group of villagers behind you, he watched as children hid behind their parents, desperate scavengers gripping to their weapons. Gaze returning to your face for another time, he turned off his lightsaber and was menacingly still.

"Resume fire."

A pang hit your chest, and your mouth was agape in horror. Grunting, you tried to free yourself by fighting the Dark with Light, desperate to stop them. 

"Please, Ben, please stop them, don't let them-"

"My name is Kylo Ren. Ben Solo is dead."

Tears welled in your eyes as the chrome trooper resumed her position, giving an order. Each of the stormtroopers lined up again, blasters ready to fire. Breaths frantic, you were still stuck looking into Ren's mask as you struggled, lightsaber far from your reach. Mind rearing, you were trying to understand how such a gentle person - the man you loved - had turned into _this_.

How had Ben turned into _this_?

You stopped struggling, tears spilling over.

The villagers were going to die.

A deep calm washing over you, and you closed your eyes. Focusing on the space around you, you felt the Force breathe and move. It was interwoven into everything, the air, the earth, the villagers and stormtroopers alike, Ren.

You waited.

The first shot rang out, red bolt firing towards the group, and you halted it in place. Another was fired, and you stopped it again, exhausted. More shots were fired, and you were draining all of the energy you had left to keep the bolts at bay. Shaking, you refused to give up and surrender.

A sharp blow to your head knocked you out cold.

۞ ۞ ۞

When your eyes flittered open, a resounding pain exploded from your temple, dried blood trailing down your neck and staining your shirt. Every part of your body ached, the fight from earlier completely exhausting you. Unsure of how long you had been unconscious, you glanced around the part of the room you could see. It was almost solely a metal space and you moved your arms against the restraints that held you to test their strength. Strapped down and weak, there was no way for you to escape, and you sank back into the platform with a sigh.

There was a familiar Dark presence behind you, waiting.

"Ben?" You called, licking your lips. You couldn't remember when you last had water.

" _That_ is not my name."

Walking around, he emerged from the left and stood before you, mask covering his face. Every inch of his clothing was black or metal, and you felt the familiar pang of guilt that you could've prevented this - the destruction of Ben Solo. While you weren't sure, you hoped he had kept you alive out of empathy, that the little flicker of light you had sensed earlier remembered you and missed what the pair of you had shared. Part of you wanted him to take off the mask so that you could see his face, the other, more rational, knew that he wasn't going to remove it, even if you asked.

"We've already gotten the location of the map. We know it's in the droid. It's only a matter of collecting it now."

"So that's it then?" You asked. "That's the end of the Resistance? You're going to kill me, find the map, kill Skywalker, destroy the Resistance and rule over the galaxy?"

"Not in so few words."

Nodding, you looked away in shame. Heart aching, it was as if the years of running from the past began to crash down on you all at once, mourning the loss of your friends, your teacher and the man before you. Somewhere, Poe was likely either being interrogated or dead, and Leia was anxiously awaiting your contact. Rolling across the sand, BB-8 was completely alone, running away from a fate that would inevitably capture him. If only you had listened to Luke, continued your training-

"You feel guilty, I can sense it."

Releasing a slow breath, you sat there as a creeping Darkness began to invade your mind, perverting your memories and searching. It clawed at your mind and cracked it open like a walnut, causing a sharp pain to erupt from your head, and you yelled in pain. Trying to force him out, you formed a blockade in your mind, trying to protect yourself. Easily breaking through, Ren passed through your weak defences and continued to explore.

"Do not attempt to stop me. I am more _powerful_ ," he said, sending another shot of pain into your head "and more _skilled_ than you will ever be. After all, I never failed my training. I surpassed it."

Filtering through your mind, he lingered at your time in the Temple, a reflection of the memories he had attempted to squash out of his own thoughts.

"Ben-"

"You must let this image of Ben Solo die." He said in fury. "You keep calling for him, but he is not here. You long for him, but he is dead."

Gritting your teeth, you swallowed harshly as Ren continued to dig. After a few moments, he took a step back, removing himself from your mind. Breathing heavily with the relief, your brows settled in a soft furrow.

"At least I never had invade your mind to know what you were thinking."

Getting close to your face, Ren glared at you through the mask.

"You have _no idea_ what I'm thinking."

Lifting your head from the platform, you looked at him sternly.

"You're thinking you have to prove yourself." You said, growing bolder, "You're so desperate to please. You need to completely dominate me, prove that you have overcome your past, that you're somehow stronger than Ben Solo, that you don't feel an attachment to him, or me, anymore."

"You're wrong."

Raising a brow, you shook your head angrily.

"No, I'm not. You can wear that faceless mask and your black robes but I know Ben Solo, and he's still in there, buried deep. You can't extinguish him, no matter how hard you try."

"Stop," Ren demanded, voice raising.

"Ben Solo is stubborn and determined and insecure and passionate-"

"You will be _quiet_ -"

"-and I am _not_ giving up on him. I refuse to."

Igniting his saber, Ren's hulking figure loomed above you, staring. While reason told you to be terrified, the light that was still within him held the promise of redemption, and you couldn't help but have hope. A beat passed like that, the pair of you staring at each other, breathing heavily. Moving forward mere centimetres, ready to strike you, Ren paused before turning around and striking the wall repetitively. The blows each left lines of glowing, melted metal, sparks catalysed from the damaged circuitry. Yelling, he kept cutting at it in a fit of rage, the sound of twisting metal harsh and violent in your ears. Seemingly finished, he kept his back facing you, shoulders raising and falling from the exertion. The room was silent.

"It almost killed me, leaving." You said, tone much softer. "Knowing I had to leave you behind."

Chest still heaving, Ren didn't respond, looking at the damage he had caused. Several moments passed like that, and you waited for him to respond, mentally begging him for some sign of Ben, or for forgiveness. Helmet moving a fraction to the side, he looked at you through his peripheral vision. 

"It was my destiny to join the Dark Side. Frankly, it is pathetic you think you could have prevented otherwise." Turning off his lightsaber, Kylo seemed much more calm, standing a few feet away from you. "However, there is no denying your strength. Supreme Leader Snoke will want to see you."

Blood turning to ice, your body tensed at the thought of meeting the Supreme Leader. The mystery that shrouded his origins and power was frightening, and you had little doubt in your mind that meeting him would certainly lead to your death. Walking towards the exit, Ren spoke.

"For the meantime, you will remain here, where I can ensure you won't escape."

The door opened, and you lifted your head urgently.

"And Poe?" You asked.

Ren paused.

"He will be executed."

Resuming his pace, he left the empty, metal space, rendering you completely and utterly alone.


End file.
